I experienced quite a bit of resistance as I worked on this drawing. I determined I would take a copy of “April Afternoon” and see what needed to appear in the open spaces. This issue came up first with the drawing “Tree World.” There was empty space and I sensed the unseen in it but wasn’t ready to allow the pen into that space. I love empty spaces and to leave the unseen unseen. However, I knew I had to take the plunge (inspired as I was by process art approach). Besides, I had already done so in “Sunz Reflection.”

I worked on this in stages, allowing new elements to present themselves. I was worried I was just cooking things up in my personal imagination.

However, I happened upon a book inspired by the work of Rudolph Steiner that mentioned what happens in the Northern Hemisphere in spring (Living a Spiritual Year by Adrian Anderson). It seemed to me that there was a correspondence between what I had drawn and what was discussed in the book:

In earlier times people were aware that with the exhaling of the earth’s auric forces the multitudes of elemental beings that during winter were relatively inactive under the ground experience a renewal of their powers and gradually ascend further into the heights as summer approaches… A common theme in ancient spring festivals was the “marriage of the sun to the earth”… We might look upon all the new life and growth of spring as an expression of the creative powers of the sun beings– the regents of the solar system..

I was wondering about the figure in the upper left, a kind of angel with human faces in the hem of his robe. Then I read in Steiner’s The Calendar of the Soul (Second Week, April 14-20):

Out in the sense-world’s glory

The power of thought gives up its separate being,

And spirit worlds discover

Again their human offspring,

Who germinates in them

But in itself must find

The fruit of soul.

I had already drawn an odd, hooded figure on the far side of the inlet. When I returned to the drawing I found myself repeating the image in the foreground. I didn’t really want to be doing this– it seemed to insert itself by its own will, and I felt it was ruining “my picture.” Then the word “penitentes” echoed over and over in my mind. I looked it up and the first thing I saw was a stunning photo of ice formations that had the shape of the figures I had drawn.  They are called “penitentes” and they are formed on high altitude glaciers by the process of sublimation (direct evaporation from ice, skipping the liquidation phase– http://physics.aps.org/story/v17/st7). I thought, yes–right now, right here– snow and ice are undergoing sublimation– the sun is so intense, not all of it turns into water first!

The penitentes as a religious category have the same formation with their pointed hood caps and robes. And they undergo psychological/spiritual sublimation as they (in some cases) self-flagellate– indeed the figures I drew held something like a whip with a pointed object at the end– a certain kind of leaf cluster has been used for self-flagellation, I discovered. This is, of course, a practice at Easter time (I did the original drawing on Russian Orthodox Good Friday). In this manner lower impulses are transformed into higher ones– skipping over the manifestation of the impulse in cruder form.

I was pretty amazed by how all of this was woven together in the context of the season– both the physical processes happening at this time and the associated spiritual customs. It all seems to link up!

I haven’t completely gotten over my concern that I am “cooking things up.” However, these discoveries are giving me more confidence that something can come onto the paper that is connected with genuine forces at work in the world– that something beyond my own subjectivity might be involved.

ps:

‎”There is a tendency to think that you are finished when either you don’t know what to do, or you don’t like it and want to get rid of it, or you like it and are afraid to ruin it. These are not valid reasons to stop. You are finished only when the painting is finished inside you. The painting decides, not you; the natural intuitive process decides, not you.” ~ Life, Paint & Passion